Self Care 101

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection." (Buddha)

Self Care is anything we do to care for ourselves with love and respect.

The opposite of self care is self damaging behaviour, such as; smoking, drinking too much, doing drugs, eating poorly, not exercising, ect. People often result to self damaging behaviour as a result of depression, yet self care actually helps alleviate depression.

I have often felt that it was easier (and more pleasurable or rewarding) to care for others than for myself. In the past I've felt more motivated to make an extra effort for someone else, I think there was a part of me that felt it was selfish to put myself first.

When I divorced in 2006 one of the things I struggled with most was cooking for myself. Not out of lack of ability, I did all the cooking when I was married, but lack of motivation. If I was cooking for someone else I would go all out, nothing but the best ingredients, hours spent lovingly preparing delicious feasts, and yet cooking for myself seemed pointless, meaningless.

I didn't value myself enough to make the effort but now I really get that taking time to cook for myself is a way of loving myself, which in turn empowers me, increases my self esteem and my motivation to give myself even more gifts of self care. 

Over time I have come to better understand the value of self care. I've learnt that when I care lovingly for myself not only do I become more inspired and motivated but my self esteem also increases.

Below are some of the things I do to care for myself, no longer chores they have become enjoyable opportunities to love myself;

* Starting and ending my day by taking time to care for my skin, washing my face, exfoliating and moisturising - the result - looking in the mirror and seeing beautiful, healthy, fresh skin!! (which in turn reminds me to drink more water)

* Eating regularly. When I feel stressed and depressed I lose my appetite and 'forget' to eat which in turn effects my mood and ability to cope with stress - it's a losing game.

* Exercise. Research has shown that even a 5 minute walk can lift your mood and reduce depression (why do you think dog owners are so happy?) When I'm exercising regularly I also eat, sleep and think better.

* Paint my toenails. The only love affair I currently have is with myself, but heck yes I'm worth it! Seeing my pretty colourful toenails makes me smile.

* Watch less TV - Listen to more Music. The Red Hot Chili Peppers had it right "throw away your television" A guilty pleasure... but seriously, overuse is unhealthy. Over the last year I abused it, filling the silence, it became my 'friend' a loud, bossy demanding friend. Yes it's great for avoiding dealing with your life, living vicariously through others, and I agree that shows like Hoarders make us 'feel better' about our own lives cause heck, at least it's not as bad as theirs. Ultimately TV is unhealthy, it saps creativity and the flicker rate induces a hypnotic effect, stopping us from reaching out potential. 

My absolute favourite though is.... drum roll please... a hot bubble bath with Epsom salts in a candlelit bathroom listening to my favourite bath soundtrack Massive Attack - Blue Line (click to listen) This has been my number 1 bath soundtrack consistently since 1994!



~ Future Forward