It was a fairly large group of 17 and every seat was taken, I felt privileged to be part of the group. Brett Peterson led the session, his calm, confident, strong voice reassuring me. After the 'house keeping' and general notes about the class we had to find a partner and introduce ourselves, my anxiety increased with my heartbeat, the experience made me a little uneasy but I found pleasure and comfort in hearing my partners thoughts.
We then introduced ourselves to the group, ekkk, one of my dreaded tasks. It felt easier than I expected and I was able to be a little more open then I was with my partner, admitting depression without fear of judgement. We stated our name, why we were there and what our concerns, if any, were. This is what I said;
"I'm here to find a healthy tool for dealing with anxiety, depression and stress. Over the last year I have been doing a lot of healing work and a concern I have is that I may get emotional. I started meditating a few weeks ago and after my first 10 minute session I got very emotional. I didn't expect this so I wanted to warn you all that it might happen."
It felt affirming to be open and shameless about who I am and what my fears were.
Next we did an eating meditation. Brett gave us each a raisin and with mindfulness we examined the raisin as if we had never seen one before. We looked at it's wrinkles and crevices, watched how the light reflected off it, smelt it, listened to it while squeezing it between our finger and thumb (yes they make a noise!) and finally we placed it in our mouths. We noticed our desires or impulses before intentionally chewing and swallowing the raisin.
I discovered that, with awareness I was able to find beauty and joy in something I had regarded as ugly, this brought me happiness. Brett talked about how as children we discovered things for the first time but as things became common or ordinary to us we created a concept or idea of what that thing is. If we decide the raisins are boring or tasteless we enter eating one with this idea and eat the idea rather than the raisin itself. For me this really resonated with people, how when someone pigeonholes you it can make it hard to change because you are stuck in their assumptions of who you are.
Next we did a Body Scan Meditation, we lay on the floor and were guided by Brett to bring awareness and breathe to each area of our body. I noticed that when I was able to remain present and mindful, of his voice and my body, I felt relaxed. When thoughts occurred or I felt restless, I judged myself, I was annoyed and frustrated about this and then I judged the judgements and the anxiety increased.
Our homework is to do a 15 minute guided Body Scan Meditation daily, to bring mindfulness to one activity daily such as brushing your teeth and once during the week to eat one meal mindfully, in silence.
It was a wonderful first class, I am excited to be part of this program and was very encourage to learn that it is actually being applied in the Vancouver School System in a program called MindUP. This program was introduced to Vancouver schools thanks to the actress Goldie Hawn and her Hawn Foundation.
~ Future Forward
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